This is something that has helped me a lot, anyway.
- Catch yourself when you’re having a judgemental thought about someone. It could be anything, from how the look, to how wealthy they appear, to how you would have acted in their shoes vs. what they did.
- Recognise the fact that your thoughts about them literally meannothing. (As long as they don’t turn into actions!)
- If your thoughts about them don’t matter- then other people’s thoughts about you most certainly don’t.
You don’t have anything to prove to anyone save for yourself. Not your friends, your parents, your partner, those acquaintances you keep on Facebook so you can spy on them- no one.
So please just do what is right for you. Please strive to make good decisions for yourself.
Happy New Year!
~~Anxiety Cat xx.
I’ve left the whole message anonymously here so you guys can see the extra comments + some don’t have all the details for the book (details are bolded my pets) , so if one catches your eye you can google it. Hope some of these are helpful!
- “I found this great book a few years back called “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff… and it’s all small stuff” by Richard Carlson, PH.D., which can easily be found on Amazon and other sites. It’s really helpful to just pick up at random and read some of the tips. I hope it helps someone. :-)”
- “the anxiety and phobia work book is awesome, it’s a new Harbinger book” (<—- This book gets mentioned in heeeeaps of messages some of which aren’t posted purely due to repitition- must be very good!)
- “My therapist suggested “The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook” by Edmund J. Bourne. I’ve really gotten a lot out of it, it’s helped me tremendously over the last few years and I highly recommend it. It offers a multitude of techniques and skills for coping with and overcoming anxiety and also helps give insight to triggers and cycles of negative thoughts.”
- “I’ve found Cheryl Strayed’s ‘Tiny Beautiful Things’ under her psuedonym ‘Dear Sugar’ (which she writes at The Rumpus website) to be extremely inspiring and amazingly insightful. I warn you though that she leaves no stone unturned no matter how heavy it is (some of the letters and responses will address very serious issues and in many cases her language is… salty). “Inhabit the beauty that lives in your beastly body and strive to see the beauty in all the other beasts.”— Dear Sugar.”
- “…there are three that have helped me and didn’t make me roll my eyes: Coping With Panic by George A. Clum, The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne, and The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron”
- “Not a book, but Havi Brooks’ blog The Fluent Self helped me enormously. I have a whole subfolder in my “In case of emergency” bookmarks folder that’s “Havi’isms”. In particular: “Calm techniques versus conventional wisdom”, “Self-mastery is a waste of time”, “Talking truth to fear” and its follow-up “You don’t have to face your fear”, and “Safe rooms”. Her blog was the main thing that allowed me to learn how to be functional with unmedicated depression and anxiety years ago.”
- “B&N, and possibly also Amazon, sells a series of workbooks for anxiety disorders. I bought the OCD one for someone I knew, and the Social Phobia one for myself. There’s The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Bourne, and The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Program by Knaus and Carlson (that one isn’t in the series, but CBT is a good treatment for anxiety issues.”
- ” I haven’t read it in a while, but When Panic Attacks by David D. Burns was hugely helpful for me.”
- “…Claire Weekes’s Hope and Help for your Nerves changed my life. Anybody who suffers from anxiety should read it. Her approach to dealing with anxiety is timeless.”
- “…there’s “The Anxious Brain.” It’s not really a self-help book, but it does go into what parts of your brain cause anxiety and why. It has good descriptions of different anxiety disorders and the medications and techniques that are best suited to treating them. It’s quite general, I guess, but it’s a good jumping off point, particularly in understanding the physiology of anxiety.”
- “here’s an anxiety book: at last a life by paul david! he has a website and the link to buy the book is there :) i think there’s an app for it tooo”
A few weeks ago I asked you guys how you cope with your anxiety, and got some lovely suggestions that I would like to share with you! If you have another method that you find helpful and that isn’t listed below- reblog and add yours so that more people can benefit from it! Additionally, you may like to send it my way and I will continue to compile these lists and post them often as I can.
Anyway- try some out if you need them and see if they help :)
When feeling anxious, try:
- Writing down exactly how you are feeling. “I’m not allowed to think it’s a stupid or pathetic reason to be freaking out, I have to write it down in the exact honest words, and also any ideas of why it’s freaking me out like that. Sometimes just trying to get it down and being able to read it back as clearcut words really helps clear the fog of anxiety about it.”
- Keep inspiration nearby. ”I keep a note on my phone titled ‘In case of anxiety’ and fill it with things to remember if I’m ever anxious - that people care about me, not to overthink so much, etc. it helps and then, I can access it any time.” You could also try this with other simple things like an inspirational photo as a desktop background, a special bracelet, anything like that that can serve to remind you that everything’s okay when you need it.
- Chew some gum. “Chewing gum distracts me from negative thinking. It helps me concentrate on something else rather than my worries and in a way makes me feel confident.”
- Distract yourself if you can. -“I always buried myself in video games or doodling. No matter where I’m going I bring either a small sketchbook or my DS. They’re like my security blankets. I don’t always use them but I know they’re there if I need to step away.” . -“I memorized the Nato spelling alphabet and when I get overwhelmed I recite it to take myself out of it.” -“When in public & on the verge of an anxiety/panic attack, look at your surroundings & describe everything in great detail (either in your head or even to another person; I find it more helpful when I’m texting a friend & I tell THEM where I am & what everything looks like. I told one person of this technique & now he knows what it is & asks me questions about what I’m doing/where I am.)
Being in crowded places eg: University campus
Start off by sitting in low traffic areas and distract yourself with things like music, food, a book, etc. Once you get comfortable with that, move to a place with ever so slightly more people and work on it there. Work on it like that until you can happily sit in the crowded area without any trouble!
Being on public transport:
Distract yourself if public transport is an issue for you. I love using sudoku because it’s my favourite type of puzzle! Something that will keep your brain engaged is perfect because then you won’t have the capacity to worry about everything else. Combining this also listening to music pretty much completely solved my own bus phobia.
“I get very anxious on long rides, be it car, train, or air. Listening to a specific music playlist helps me cope, more than reading or playing games sometimes. Also having something to grab/hold on to, like a friend’s hand. If you have a smartphone with a map app and GPS, tracking your location and how long it will take to get to your destination as you’re traveling helps pass the time, so you don’t feel “stuck”. Playing games and reading is good sometimes but I tend to get carsick so those things tend to make me feel worse. They do help for stationary waiting situations though!”
Personally, I love mindfulness techniques and meditation because I owe it so much. Using these were (and still are- when I need them!) immensely helpful with my anxiety. Here’s what you guys had to say about them!
“here’s a super helpful tip my therapist gave me, it’s a breathing thing. (for awhile i was skeptical of all this yoga-y breathing exercises crap that’s out there - like, i know how to breathe - but this really helps!) so what you do is: breathe in through your nose, then blow out your mouth as if you’re breathing out of a straw. you do not need a straw, but you just curve your mouth the way you would around a straw. the change in physiology helps and brings your breathing back to your diaphragm”
”..Something one of my profs mentioned is a mindfulness technique which is helpful, especially for people who self harm. Its a little weird, you hold an ice cube and let it melt in your hand.”
“saying the rosary — any repetitive prayer, mantra, or saying will do, taking showers — hot water + silence and solitude + the calming effect of your body cooling afterwards, chewing gum, exercise, breathing exercises, singing, regular massage if you can afford it.”
Things to watch:
- Get enough sleep.
- Don’t have tooooooooooo much caffeine.
REMEMBER: YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE STRONG, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!
I hope some of these suggestions are helpful to you guys- and if you have something you’d like to share in the next compilation list please do not hesitate to harass my via my ask!
~~Anxiety Cat xx